Am I a Pro at this?

I dunno...I feel I should be more bummed about my 3rd loss. I can't decide if I'm becoming a Pro and now know what to expect or if I'm just numb. I feel I should be more bummed because I lost another child. My body cannot sustain a damn pregnancy. WTF? I feel I should be angry and some days I am. I feel like I should have cried more over my loss but at the same time...I can't change the past, I can only change the future. And crying sure in the hell won't change anything. Don't get me wrong, I still cry to let my frustrations out but I know it won't change what has happened. I know praying will not bring my babies back but I still pray that God will bless us with a beautiful family here on Earth.

Who am I? I wish I could be that positive at work. As you all know work sucks!! Its an awful situation that I have no idea how to handle. I've tried and have been ignored. I have tried to be quite about it but I can't. Mike is sick of me venting every night when I get home. I guess my only options are to A) Talk to my boss again or B) find a new job. Its so hard. This decision would be much easier if we didn't have the financial situation that we did (thank you X & Y for cutting Mike's salary 30%, bastards) and if I didn't start my own dance studio. Hopefully I can find a job that is willing to let me work M-F 7-4 or 8-5. :::Crossing my fingers & toes::: cuz I don't know how much more I can take of my current job. I love the people I work with, almost every single one but this circumstance just isn't right. And I can't stand for it. My patients are affected by it, I'm affected by it, others are, it just isn't right!! I hate that this is happening!

Other than work or TTC that leaves my dance studio. Its going well for just getting it up and started. I have 7 students, possibly 8 by next week. I know it doesn't seem like a lot but its a start for being a part time job. I have to let word of mouth travel and advertise my butt off when I can.

So that's it for now...