6 month pics & MIL update

It doesn't seem right to put these things in the same post but unfortantly this is all new in the past 4 days. My MIL passed away Wed night after another 2 heart attacks Wed. They attempted to move her from ICU to radiology in order to perform a procedure but she almost coded not once but twice and had at least another heart attack if not two since my last update. The damage to her heart was not determined secondary to not being able to move her. Its sad because she was suppose to come off the vent that very day and by the afternoon was relying 100% on the vent. So all in all 3 of her 7 (I believe) systems were shut down. I'll spare you all the details of what we went through but in the end we decided her quality of life would not be remotely close to how she was living. She would have ended up losing fingers and toes and spending the rest of her life in a nursing home. About an hour after removing the vent Barbara E. Treichler passed away with family by her side.

I was fortunate to have all my grandparents growing up, until 2005 when I lost my grandfather. I still have my other 3 grandparents and for me the worst part is Landon will never remember his Nan-Nan, nor will our other children know her. Unlike DH, I take comfort in knowing that she is up there meeting and holding my angel babies that we never met. On a side note but kinda related: Today I was thinking how my grandfather (who was Catholic) a long long time ago told me that aborted babies go straight to heaven unlike us because they are so pure and know no wrong. Years later I never thought I would take comfort in knowing that babies I lost are in heaven with him and now my MIL.

Its so hard seeing Mike in so much pain. Yesterday he told me how much he just wanted to pick up the phone and call his mom. It killed me.

As I said earlier it doesn't seem right to be posting these in the same post as the news I just told you but here are Landon's 6 month old pictures.














BTW, Landon got his first tooth yesterday. My baby is growing up!!!

And in memory of my MIL, Barb, Mom, & Nan-Nan.



I just realized that today, 2 years ago I lost my 1st angel baby. Man! And my 2nd angel baby's EDD is coming up 12/31. :::sigh:::

Can't believe my baby is going to be 6 months!!

Seriously? Where has time gone? He was just a little 8lb 2oz babe when he was born. Now he's 17lbs. Good gosh! Since its been awhile I'll go through a quick update.

Landon is sitting like a pro most of the time. He started sitting Nov 8th unsupport for any length of time. He entertains himself sitting and playing with his toys for 30-40 minutes at time. He's such an easy baby when it comes to that and we are so blessed.



We started rice cereal and more recently sweet potatoes and squash (for Thanksgiving, ya know).



As I mentioned he's a happy baby who loves to smile and loves music.

We've had some issues with STTN and have degressed. Where did my 3 month old that STTN go? I've been reading "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby" and since then it seems things have gotten worse. It can be very frustrating at times and Mike and I become very uneasy with each other.

Since my last update my grandmother started experiencing some lower extremity weakness and confusion. We've gotten the run around from many Drs as to what is causing it. She's currently in a rehab hospital and seems to be doing better.

My MIL is also currently in the ICU. She was diagnosed with lupus about 2 years ago and about 5 months ago her kidneys were shutting down at a rapid pace they put her on dyalisis. Her port which she recieves dyalisis through became infected last Sunday and she was admitted to the ER and shortly after to the ICU. That night we recieved a scary phone call that she was crashing and to come say our good byes. Fortnantly she made it through this after having a heart attack due to pushing fluids through very quickly. She is still in ICU, and is having good and bad days. Its going to be a long, long road with many ups and downs. Please keep her in your throughts and prayers.

My birthday was the day before my MIL was admitted to the hospital and a few of my girlfriends and I celebrated by going to see New Moon....oh me oh my! ;-) LOVE IT! Afterwards my husband made surf and turf for dinner and we shared a bottle of wine while watching a chick flick..."the ugly truth". It was a great way to spend my 26th birthday!

Since then all hell has broken loose and Mike and I are both sick. I have bronchitis and most likely he does too. Probably from all the stress we are under with job situations, family, a 6 month old that doesn't yet STTN but....we are trying to manage. At this point all I want for Christmas is less drama!!!!!! OR....

Anyway...don't mind my Twilight humor...here are some update pics of Landon.

Mastitis

Never a dull moment around here, I swear! Seriously I feel like I can't catch a break. We've fought with thrush twice and now I am just re-coping from
mastitis. Remember how I thought I had the flu. Rrriiight! After 2 days of laying around we finally decided on Sunday to go to the zoo which we had a great time. See Landon's video below...he'll tell ya all about it. Anyway, Monday I felt fine and I woke up in the middle of the night with the exact same symptoms I had Thursday night. Fever, body ache, chills, nausea and right boob pain. Thursday when I had these symptoms my boobs ached but my whole body ached so I just assumed it was pretty normal since I had the "flu". Thursday night I popped ibuprofen like crazy and pumped a lot because I just felt very full and had a funny sensation. It was odd since I had cut down to pumping 3 times a day. Getting back to Monday night/Tuesday morning it finally dawned on me when my boob was throbbing...I was like OMIGOD I have mastitis. I can't tell you how bad I felt all over.

After having 2 days off I called off work which I felt horrible about because we are short handed. I called my mom and told her at 4:30 in the morning, I was a mess. LOL. Then I slept until 9:30 when I called the Dr. She saw me that morning and was very concerned. She's like you and I quote "Need to take some days off work. You can't go to work in this much pain". I agreed but was hesitant until she scared the crap outta me. See I can only take 3 antibiotics, the rest I'm allergic to. She said the that she would have to put me on 2 antibiotics but that wouldn't guarantee that it would kill the type of bacteria Landon was passing to me. She started throwing around the word mersa and hospital. She warned me that I may have to be hospitalized, hospitalized people! I was like WHAT!?! She would have to hospitalize me for IV antibiotics. So I agreed that my ass was staying home from work for a long as she wanted. She also told me I was to breastfeed, breastfeed, breastfeed.

I've been off all week. My boss has been understanding but I know my co-workers are probably a little or maybe A LOT upset because like I said we are short handed and its hard enough handling our own schedule let alone dividing another one up among everyone else. As all of this is going on, somewhere a long the line I was like ok its time to quit BFing completely for many reasons...1) my health 2) The one antibiotic is passed through BM 3) decrease in supply and I dunno what other reasons we're put into my head but....it last all of 2 days, pumping when engorged. I've cried on and off and have been wondering if this was a good enough excuse for me and just a little bit ago I decided its not time yet. Even if my good supply doesn't come back I want to wean on my own terms not just because of some stupid illness. Funny how I thought it would be ok to just quit pretty much cold turkey and funny how I thought I wanted to completely give it up.

The past 2 days Landon has had a lot more formula and has been extremely gassy. Burping and tooting all day along. At night he was waking up just because he needed burped or because he needed to toot. Very, very unusual. In fact he's never done that and it took me a night to figure out what was going on.

So thats the exciting life of the T residence. Hopefully, God is done with making life so exciting at the moment because I can't take too much more.

I'll let Landon tell you.....

This is after a fun day at the Philly Zoo.

Almost 4 months

Motherhood is more and more exciting every day. I wouldn't trade it for the world. With the excitement always comes the challenges and lessons learned.

At this rate I'm only getting one post a month. Seriously I think about updating my blog weekly if not more. I hate not being able to update because I would love to keep better track of all the things that happen with us and I don't just mean milestones. Did I mention I hate being so busy?? My day normally consists of getting up around 5:40 AM, getting to work at 7 (Ok, more like 7:05), coming home at lunch (12-1) to tidy up and grab some lunch, go back to work until 4, go get Landon and by the time I get home some days its 5:30 unless I have dance (then earlier), 2 nights a week I have dance but either way the only time by butt sits down is at dinner, Landon goes to bed between 7-8 after his bath and a bed time story, and usually my butt doesn't sit back down until 9-10 PM. Its ridiculous. Did I mention I was pumping about 5-6 times a day. Keyword: WAS!!!

I decided that I'm ok giving Landon some formula. I was hoping it would help him sleep through the night, since I can't remember the last time that was. He was doing so well and I shouldn't complain because he only gets up once a night to eat and go right back to sleep. Anyway...I've about had enough of this pumping and very lil nursing. So I've cut back to pumping about every 8 hours and when I can I nurse in the middle of the night and on the weekends.

On September 10th, my mom's b-day, Landon rolled from his belly to his back. I had him in his crib for some belly time while I was packing and getting ready to go away for our first vacation to WVU and next thing I knew he was on his back. It took me a few seconds to realize what happened. I was like "wait, I didn't put you on your back!!" So I flipped him back to his belly and he did it again. Mike wasn't nearly as excited as I was but thats ok.

On the 23rd, I went to pick him up from my mom's and heard him LOL for the first time. It was great! After we left Gran's I brought him home and before Mike got home I had him on his back on the couch and realized he was playing with his feet, trying to get them to his mouth. So cute! I have a video of this so check it out at the end.

This past Monday night Landon had his first sleepover at Gran's. I slept like a rock all night! It was weird not having him home. So the reason he stayed at my mom's was because my week started off great! At midnight Monday morning Jake and Bailey were sprayed by a skunk. OMIGOD! I never smelled anything so freakin bad in my life. If you haven't experienced it and I don't mean just driving by a dead one on the road, you have NO IDEA how horrible that stench is. Its still lingering but I made up a solution (4 cups peroxide, 1/4 cup baking soda, & 1 teaspoon of liquid soap) which we bathed the dogs in. The next day my dad came over and sprayed the house with Nature's Miracle Skunk Remover. Or something like that which helped A LOT!

So after that, all week I've been looking forward to having a 4 day weekend. We made plans just to do a day trip or 2. And son-of-a-bitch I came home sick as a dog Thursday night. So sick my parents took Landon for the night because Mike was in WVU for another game. Seriously?? I can't catch a break and I'm getting a little pissed. Thankfully I felt better in about 24 hours. But now I feel achy and tired. I just cried Thursday night when my parents came and than took Landon home with them and I cried when Mike brought him home Friday!!! Now I think I have a sick baby for he has done nothing but slept and his temperature is slowly creeping up. :-( I will never forgive myself if he gets sick. Ok I probably will but I will feel awful!!!

So now that I've gotten that all out here are some pictures from this month and a video.
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Tailgating at his 2nd mountaineer game!

Mommy & Landon

The 3 of us!

Opa & Gran with Landon at Cooper's Rock. I love his face!

In the bumbo...


The day he discovered his feet.

Funny face.

This picture was taken today.

As well as this one...

3 months old

Can you believe it? Yesterday my little guy turned 3 months old??

Some of you may have been wondering what's new with Landon...well the little guy's new thing is trying to sit up. He lounges in his bouncer or swing and all of a sudden he does an ab crunch and throws his head forward. Its funny cuz it looks like he holds his breath and his eyes get wide...like "oh look what I can do". He is also exploring more and more with his mouth, chewing on his hands, drooling, and grabbing things and trying to put them in his mouth. He's also watching his feet more and more which can be comical.

Landon was at the pediatrician this past Thursday and had his first injection. Yes, I did say first. We are not following the typical vaccine schedule nor Dr. Sear's schedule. But that's a subject for another day. He received the HIB vaccine and according to Daddy was very fussy all day and running a low grade temp that night. My poor baby but he was so brave! I held him and the initial stick didn't phase him but all of a sudden his bottom lip came out and then the he left out a huge scream. I calmed him down and it only lasted 5-10 secs max. I was impressed!


He now weighs...drum roll please......13 pounds 15 ounces and is about 25 inches long. Yes, he's our chunky monkey.


Here are some more photos of Landon...

Since Landon has been trying to sit up I decided to buy Landon a Bumbo. I got it off of craigs list for $10. What a steal!! I paid more for the tray at BRU...$10.99

We've also tried out the jumperoo last week.

Trying out his new travel swing for WVU trips. "Eh," he says. "Not as good as my fisher price Little Lamb swing."

Changing table fun!

At our first WVU game. Honestly he didn't do bad at all!! Fussed for a few minutes during the first quarter and then fell asleep for 2 quarters.

Chillin' with Dad. Trying to get my fist in my mouth.

Here is a link if you want to see more photos of Landon. And if you're a facebook friend some of these are not on there (such as Gran's photos). :-) Baby T

PS I'll post this link on the side of my blog as well.

just DANCE!

So just a little update. Some of you may know that last summer I started my own dance company. It only consisted of a few students but I was renting from a local ballroom studio and teaching classes there. Well this summer two of my teachers from when I was younger were left go from the studio I grew up in for no reason. They were mailed a two sentence letter after one had been there for 30+ years. Can you believe it?? So good news is instead of totally giving up my dream, I've joined up with them. We are teaching at 2 locations. So far we have about 10 students signed up. But I'm positive more will sign up before the start of class tomorrow. Classes start tomorrow and I still have stuff to do but here I am updating my blog. HA HA! Oh well, I haven't in 3 weeks so its about time. Just another thing to add to my busy schedule. The past 2 months have been spent getting a website ready, advertising material, LLC agreements, bank account and so much more. So I've given up spending time writing here and posting/reading posts on PAL and reading my friends blogs. :-( I still really wish I was a SAHM....or if I could I would pause time because there really isn't enough hours in the day to get everything I want to get done completed.

Not enough time....

Banbear....like you said there is just not enough time in the day!! There are so many changes going on or things I would like to write about that would be nice to get off my chest but there is so much going on that I don't have time to! Frustrating!! Stay tuned, hopefully I'll get a chance to post about some more positive things. :-)

Landon & Daddy

Adjusting

I can't stress enough to those TTC or expecting mothers how much your life changes. How much your life with DH changes. Crazy changes. Body changes. You name it, it changes. Is it worth it for a LO? Without a doubt!


I don't remember what life was like before Landon and it has only been 10 weeks since his arrival. I can't remember the last time I've been this delighted, proud or the feeling of being on cloud 9. I just love spending time with my little guy and being around him whether he's happy, fussy, sleepy, playing, smiling, "talking", whatever it is...I just love it! I hate being away from him and thats why I hate working full time. Its not that I hate my job, its just I don't like being away from my LO.


So getting back to changes...adjusting to Landon has not been hard for me. Sure, I have my moments I get frustrated, or need me time, or need help, but he's been a fairly easy baby. I have fully embraced and love motherhood With that said, Mike and I have had a hard time adjusting to each other's new roles.


You always hear men and women are programed differently and becoming a mommy and a daddy is no exception. Daddy's are programed diffrently than mommy's. We are having a very hard time with this. I'm sure he won't be happy with me for posting about this but I know I'm not the only one out there going through this and I want others to know that this adjustment period is real and normal.


DH and I argue constantly about the way he does things vs the way I do things and dividing up household chores. Let's talk about this more in depth...I can't stand to hear Landon cry, it just breaks my heart so when DH can't get him to stop crying and sometimes from the lack of really trying on his part, I take Landon and try to calm him down or figure out whats wrong. This wears on me. I feel he should have this natural instinct as well to calm his baby down...but ladies they don't and then they get pissed when you take them away from them. I can understand how he may feel upset, like he can't do anything right but when I've given him tips and he doesn't use them it pisses me off.


Let's talk about dividing things up. I'm so sick of cleaning up after three people. It got old while I was home. Here is our division of household chores


DH pays the bills, mows the grass/snowblows/weed wacks, makes dinner, cleans the showers, does repairs on the house if able, run the wet vac (once in a blue moon), make appts for cars when needed, bathes the dogs on a rare occassion


My responsibilities are to vacuum, dust, wipe nose prints off the windows/doors, clean the bathrooms, clean up the kitchen (and I do this all the time because he doesn't clean up after he makes dinner), laundry (from start to finish), garden (though I've been slacking this summer...wonder why), tidy up (this includes hanging up his coat/clothes, putting his shoes away, etc), grocery shop though DH occassionally runs in....I'll let you know if I think of anything else.


OH and taking care of Landon...not that he doesn't help but this may result in a tif cuz DH doesn't do things my way. For example I've told him NOT to put the bottles in the dishwasher OR just boil them because it leaves this nasty film on the bottles and I just end up handwashing them anyway.


We both share taking care of the dogs and loading/emptying the dishwasher. I dunno does this seem equal to you or just the norm? After being back to work for 2 weeks I feel overwhelmed and stretched thin. For example yesterday I was up 4 times in 7 hours with DS which is highly unusual and finally at 7:oo AM I got up with him. I started cleaning around 9ish with breaks inbetween to calm Landon down or feed him. I went shopping with my mom for about 3 hours and when I got home I continued to clean so I wouldn't have to today. I didn't stop except for a visit from my co-worker Pip and her 2 sons, which was for a half hour, until 8:30. I was exhausted and fell asleep almost as soon as I layed down. I think I've communicated that I do need more help but that seems to have fallen on deaf ears.


So...what's Landon up to? He's teething!! Fist in his mouth, drooling, fussiness, knawing on our fingers or like I said his fist. I really can't believe it. He's doing just so well. Here are some more pics for this week.

Wearing some cute slippers that Gran got me.

Bless you!

Back to Work

I've always wanted to be a SAHM! My mom stayed home with me up until I was 16 or so. I hated it growing up but was later grateful. She returned back to work part-time when I was a sophomore in high school, by this time I was dancing 4 nights a week and knew the difference between right and wrong. I turned out fairly well I think...whether it was the fact that my SAH mom was able to instilled morals and values in me at an early age or the fact that my dad was a cop and I was too scared to get in trouble...or maybe it was a combination. Who knows? Sorry if I'm sorta rambling...I'll get to a point or maybe I won't tonight. Maybe you'll just learn more about us...or rather me, good or bad.

Anyway...returning to work has made me feel like a failure and as I typed those words tears are streaming down. I don't know how else to describe the feeling. I really don't. I'm not use to this feeling but my heart feels very heavy with guilt. I want my son to have what I had and I'm upset that he might never have his mom at home.

You would think that he was in daycare the way I'm acting. He's not. He's at the next best place than with him Mommy. He's with my mom, his Gran. This also kills me! She'll get to see all his milestones before I do (more than likely). Again I'm so glad its my mom!! :::more tears::: But at the same time it makes me sick that it won't be me. Maybe, I'm just a spoiled brat for feeling this way. I just have a feeling I'm going to envy her and when he goes running to her rather than me my heart is just going to break into pieces.

Even working part time would be so much better but I would give just about anything in the world to be a SAHM!! Unfortunately this won't be happening as Mike is in limbo with his job, I carry our insurance, and I'm in the process of becoming business partners with 2 other ladies for our dance company. More to come next post on my dance company, once I'm in a better mood. For now I'm off to go work out a little bit since Landon is getting some shut eye.

On a cheerier note here are some pictures of Landon the past week. BTW, he's 9 weeks old today. My baby is growing up!

One of the first smiles I have captured on film or a digital camera.

So serious....

Chillin at the pool.

This is how I chill in the bath tub. Really he always ends up this way.

It's almost bedtime.

Poor Sadie

Poor Sadie had surgery yesterday on her ear. It was very unexpected. She has the typical golden problems...allergies, hot spots, ear problems...the works. So it wasn't a shocker when she started shaking her head and scratching at her ears about a week ago. Mike cleaned them out a few times and Wed night Mike noticed a HUGE fluid pocket on her right ear flap. So Thursday I took her to the vet and she said that from shaking and scratching she broke a blood vessel and the pocket is full of blood. Figuring they would just drain it right then and there, she explained that she would need surgery otherwise the pocket may return.




Onto Landon updates...let's see...Landon is definitely starting to smile more. Mainly in the morning and on the changing table. He seems to be very happy whenever we change his diaper especially if he has a poopy one. He coo's and ca's as well. Its a feeling I can't describe...it just makes everything well worth it!!
[Smile happens in the first 10 secs]




Its amazing watching him grow. He sits in his swing and loves watching himself and the mobile or watching our faces or even playing on his activity gym thingy. His legs and arms go a mile a minute on there, hitting toys. He also likes when he's in his car seat watching his firefly that has a black and white pattern on the bottom of it.

I've been doing a lot more pumping this week as well as bottle feeding since I'm going back to work in a week. I'm so sad!! I'm looking forward to getting out of the house BUT not looking forward to being away from Landon 40+ hours a week. Thinking about it just makes my heart sink!! I hate it! I wish I could work part time. Speaking of...

Recently two of my old dance teachers were fired from my old dance studio, where I danced growing up. We MAY be combining forces so I may continue my dance company after all. I was dead set on just stopping because I don't feel its fair to Landon or Mike, working full time, managing a small business, teaching a few hours a week, plus raising an infant. I'm just not that ambitious! If I was soley just running my company that would be one thing but we can't afford to with Mike being in limbo with his job and unsure of where his job is leading. So I'm hoping with some help I'll be able to continue JUST DANCE! For now though I'm going to be dancing Sunday nights which I'm looking forward to. A chance for me time and to help get my body back in shape.

Anyway I got side tracked...Landon continues to love taking showers with his Daddy! Mike tells me he started doing this thing where Mike holds him while sitting on the seat in the shower and when Landon feels the water hit the back of his head and he leans his head back into the water and smiles. I never thought my LO (little one) would be getting showers with his Daddy at less than 8 weeks old, actually 4 weeks was the first.

Landon seems to be on a fairly ok schedule. He fights sleep at night but once he's asleep he sleeps in 4 hour stretches. We haven't been getting up till about 10 AM however since I've been off so this week should be interesting for him & (mainly) I. I want to start getting up when I would for work to get back into a work schdule. UGH! Not looking forward to getting up around 5:30-6 to be at work by 7. Thankfully, Mike doesn't start work till 8, so he will be driving Landon to my moms and I'll be picking up around 4ish.

:::Sigh::: I need to enjoy this last week off! I can't believe how fast it's gone!

Family Pics...

Well worth $250 for a photographer to spend 4 1/2 hours at my house and 238 images later....