"I Never Held You"

"I Never Held You" by Ellen DuBois receives two thumbs up from me. If you are looking for an easy to read book that deals with the emotional aspect of miscarriage, this is the book for you. This woman has been through a miscarriage and offers hope for the rest of us, 15 years after her loss. She nailed everything on the head and touched most thoughts and fears that have come to my mind, and written them on pages of a book. I really recommend this book to those who are struggling with their own loss. Hopefully it will give you support, comfort, & hope...and lead you to the right path.

"Coming to Term"

"Coming to Term" by Joh Cohen is getting a thumbs down from me. It started off really good and held my attention with stories I could relate to but half way through I lost interest. I think why I do not like this book is because it jumps around from subject to subject and some of the information I feel is unrelated or just not important. I was hoping this book might bridge the gap between men and women and how they handle miscarriages since it was written by a man. The book is written by a journalist who's wife has been through recurrent pregnancy losses. I think I may be one of the few who did not like this book. Oh well....onto "I Never Held You" by Ellen DuBois. Stay tuned.

So today Mike and I met with our RE, Dr. Dodson, for the very first time. I liked him, he was straight forwarded and informative. However, after spending the past 6 weeks researching stuff I don't think he brought anything new for me to the table. Eh, ok...so after going through our medical history he says to me that he doesn't see anything that would raise a red flag. That it seems to be a matter of bad luck and that he sees a rosy future for us. :::Do I see the birdy flying??::: I would have liked to given it to him. He goes on to say that he understands how frustrating and difficult this can be...when everyone is celebrating a positive pregnancy test we (RPL) wonder if we even should get our hopes up. So he truly is sympathetic...empathetic I don't know. He gets it though which is a + and he took 45 minutes of his time to listen to our concerns and feelings. He left the decisions up to us today whether we wanted any testing and told me...I don't want you going to bed and wondering well maybe we should have done this or that. He truly wanted me to be comfortable with the decision and supported us 100% even though he doesn't think anything will come back with a red flag. He wanted to give me a piece of mind, this is more than any other doctor. So Mike and I decided to go ahead with blood work and genetic testing.

As I said before we did have genetic testing done when I had my D&E. That came back normal...46xx...the RE said the thing that stinks about doing genetic testing is they may have contaminated the gestational sac with my cells/DNA. Which I understand...so I may have had a daughter which breaks my shattered heart into smaller pieces. :::sigh::: But it may have been my own chromosomes....maybe he will be able to tell after they repeat the genetic testing this time around. Who knows.

The one thing that I was truly happy and grateful to hear was when I do get pregnant, I am to call him right away whether its a HPT & BFP or a late period or even just symptoms. He will have me come in to check my hcg levels and progesterone. Of course that would be checked again and I would be scheduled for an u/s right away. From there I would see him every 4-5 days until a fetal pole is seen. Then once a week until I'm out of the "clear". I know, no one is ever out of the clear. I will then return to my regular OB, which by the way we have decided to switch to a practice closer to home & the one that Mike has contacts at. So I was very reassured by the care I will receive.

I totally forgot...he also mentioned in his 24 years of practicing how little progress this field has made. He's embarassed by what little knowledge there is. I completely agree with this after my research. I think the field is an embarassment but realize that it is one of the more difficult areas to understand. It just amazes me that we are in the 21st century and cannot figure out why most m/c happen.

Oh! By the way Doc gave us the go ahead to TTC again!! BRING ON SEX WEEK!! My OPK is showing a very faint line. Bring on the LH surge! Let's get this show on the road!

"Is Your Body Baby-Friendly?"

So obviously I didn't get to even start my book "review" like I wanted to last post. So here it goes...."Is Your Body Baby-Friendly?" is a great book for those who want to understand the possibilities of what could go wrong in the immune system that contributes to recurrent m/c's, unexplained infertility, and recurrent IVF failure. Warning: It's not a super easy book to read because of all the medical jargon.

Dr. Beer, who has since passed away after the book was written, has over 25 year's experience dealing with unexplained pregnancy lost, IVF failures, and infertility. The drawback is many Ob/Gyn's find his practice and research controversial and many have labeled him as a "quack" or "money hungry". I hafta disagree. I find when things are controversial (let's eliminate politics because we all know it will always be controversial) its because we (generalizing everyone) don't know enough about the topic. Take for example chiropractors (since I'm married to one)...how often are they called quacks by people who never saw one or those who have an overall misunderstanding about what they really do? Sure there are quacks out there, but in every field.

Unfortunately, Ob/Gyn's do NOT study the immune system in full, only an immunologist has full knowledge, and yes their are reproductive immunologists out there, Dr. Beer was one of them and his practice continues on in California. We hear the same cliches (ie...Keep on trying, your still young, 3 m/c's are normal)over and over again from our Ob/Gyn's or even our RE's because they don't know what is wrong even after running all the tests they know of. Some even make up the excuse, "well your uterus is tilted" or "your too old" and its just not the cause. It's not their fault that they don't know since this is a relatively new idea and new research but at the same time it is their responsibility to help their patients and better their selves as physicians by reading and understanding research.

Some Interesting Facts:
- "Thrombophilia is found in approximately 2/3 of women with unexplained pregnancy lost." (pg. 48)
- Thrombophilia can be associated with conditions such as preeclampsia, intrauterine fetal death, low amniotic fluid level, m/c, premature labor, and stillbirth.
- "Up to 30% of women who repeatedly m/c or are infertile test positive for antiphospholipid antibodies (APA). (The percentage is higher for women who have failed 3 or more IVF cycles.)" (pg. 52)
- APA's make implantation & cell division very difficult, however if those things do occur often the heartbeat will be found at 6-7 weeks but then stops around 8-10 weeks. :-(
-ANA's (antinuclear antibodies) which attack cell's DNA, "are found in approx. 30% of women with recurrent m/c and in 20% infertile." (pg. 61)
- Things such as allergies, depression, anxiety, allergies to your husband's sperm, your spouse's DNA may be all too similar to yours, IBS, PCOS, diabetes, undetected thyroid issues, obesity, migraines (and so on), may all affect your immune system and your chances of conceiving or carrying to term.
- Dr. Beer has observed, "women with chronic hives have the strongest allergies that make pregnancy difficult." (pg. 86)
- Women who have difficulty conceiving or suffer early pregnancy losses may have low serotonin levels which may lead to "restricted blood flow through the vessels and capillaries of the uterus which can disrupt the early stages of pregnancy. Low serotonin levels can also accompany the myraid of health problems that women often experience alongside reproductive failure." (pg. 104)
- "If a mother has untreated autoimmune problems before she conceives, there is an eight-fold greater likelihood that her child will suffer from hyperactivity, autism, or attention deficit disorder." (pg. 123)

Dr. Beer in this book also lists comprehensive immune testing and gives normal ranges for each test and treatment for abnormalities. Somewhere, (I didn't mark the page of course!) it says that if you continue to have recurrent losses, your immune system may only worsen with each loss. The book also includes inspirational stories of patients who have undergone some of Dr. Beer's treatments, along with a section written by Zita West on diet and toxins to our babies, which i found a lot of good info. Looks like I may be buying her book next. :-)

I hope that if you are struggling with unexplained infertility, m/c or IVF failure that I have provided you with some hope and courage to venture onto other avenues and not settle for anything but answers.

Also please remember this is only my opinion and I have not meant to upset anyone by what I've written. I only wanted to share some knowledge I have gained through this book!

After reading this book my intuition tells me there is something wrong with my immune system. I've suffered from allergies all my life, with little or no relief from treatment ranging to allergy shots & meds. I know I have a weak immune system because I am prone to sinusitis 3-5 times a year (under went sinus surgery when I was 11). From all my sinus infections, I've found out that I'm allergic to about 8 different antibiotics. Six years ago I was diagnosed with depression (mainly seasonal) and anxiety issues. My family medical history includes: heart disease, RA, and possible signs of lupus. :::sigh:::

Well, we aren't making any further decisions until Mike and I hear the test results from my D&E which was now 2 1/2 weeks ago. Only 2 1/2 more weeks until I should hear something. If the tests are inconclusive, positive (for anything), or simply not good enough (because I'm not sure what tests are being performed) I am seeking a 2nd opinion and possibly scheduling with a RE or looking into a RI.

So looks like we will be waiting at least 1 or maybe 2 cycles to TTC Baby #3. Which I have debated over and over in my head and there simply is no good answer since every doctor's opinions differ from another. Which frustrates me to all hell. I deal with this every day even in my profession of physical therapy but I can't seem to grasp how opinions can be so different when we are talking about conceiving life! Physical therapy, sure....everyone including Dr. protocols (based on the procedure had) is treated differently by a team of PT's & PTA's. The treatment may vary but usually the end result is the same, a happy patient who has returned to full function.

Now that I've manage to some how work this subject in....let's look at it. A patient injures their knee, or back, or shoulder (doesn't matter in this example, nor does it matter how) and sees there PCP, who generally sends them to a specialist because injuries are not their specialty. The patient sees an orthopedic physician who proceeds with a bunch of testing (such as x-ray, MRI, bone scan, etc...) diagnoses them with....oh I dunno...pick something....a rotator cuff tear. Depending on the severity of the tear and patients function, determines the treatment. Usually surgery is required to fix the tear and even if not they end up seeing a physical therapist to rehab their shoulder. So now to compare....a patient who has suffered recurrent m/c who has been under the care of an Ob/Gyn...what's the next option to just keep on trying??

Ok this post is long enough and I thank everyone who reads this and understands anything I have just said. Hope you had a great weekend!

Considering 2nd opinion.......

So turns out a person that Mike knows works for an OB/GYN office in Harrisburg. Mike also knows the OB's there and the mid wife. However, I never went there for personal reasons (which have resolved) and because I was pretty satisfied with my current OB/GYN. However, the more I read and the more I hear, the more I want a 2nd opinion on my "fertility issues" (for lack of a better term, since I don't have issues conceiving...I just have issues carrying).

This person that Mike knows is a nurse who said typically in their practice after 2 m/c numerous tests are run to find out if there is a problem and a specialist may or may not be contacted. My current practice told me to do nothing, and to try again, & if we didn't succeed then we would be appropriate for additional testing and possibly seeing a specialist, which frustrates me. Why should I go through this if something is wrong?

So I figure with Mike knowing the OB's at this practice professionally (FYI - Mike's a Chiropractor if you didn't know) and personally that I will get VIP attention, hopefully. The cool thing is the OB is supposedly best friends with one of the only specialists in the area, at Hershey Med Center. So that also makes me feel good. So we'll see how that goes.

Last night I told my mom about this and she was real snippy sorta with me and kept questioning my judgement, so I felt. But she was like "well why don't you wait until your testing from your D&E comes back" blah blah blah. I told her what Dr. Mantione told me and that was that it would most likely not show anything since I was so early. Which I think is a load of crap, at least if they did extensive testing you would think it would show something. Anyway then I said to her plus I don't get those results for another 4 weeks and by then I hope we will be TTC again. Or at least on that 1st cycle. And she has the nerve to say to me "well don't you think you better wait"? I get what she is saying but for crying out loud this is not her decision. My current Dr. told me that I could TTC right away. And in the first place she sounded totally against the 2nd opinion. I dunno.....it just made me mad last night and on top of it Mike told me she's only saying this because she loves me, (he always sticks up for those that say the wrong things, and I love him for that) but why doesn't anyone know when to shut up?

So I'm about 100 pages into "Is your body baby friendly?" and I have to say I understand some of the mixed reviews I've heard about it. Its full of medical terminology left and right. I am lucky to be in the medical field and have had a class in med-terms. When I read it I don't totally follow everything but I get the gist of it. I find the research Dr. Alan E. Beer has done in the past 25 years amazing and very interesting!

Here are some things I have read that just astonishes me that their aren't more people following in his footsteps. The American College of OB/GYNs and the Royal College of OB/GYNs 'who determine professional guidelines, currently suggest only a limited selection of tests for couples experiencing recurrent m/c:'
- Genetic analysis of both partners
- Chromosomal analysis
- Assessment of uterine anatomy by u/s and hysteroscopy
- Limited number of antiphospholipid syndrome tests
- Screening for blood clotting disorder (one)
- Virus & bacterial screenings
These may seem like a lot of things to test and look for and many of us may think well we were screened for immune issues when in reality this has only hit the surface. The book goes on to say only a few immune problems are tested and that their is no Natural Killer Cell Assay or tissue compatibility (between partners) and that the ACOG & RCOG don't even advise to test for things such as diabetes and thyroid disease. HELLO!!!

I also like the fact that he breaks up reasons for reproductive failure & who should be tested by a reproductive immunologist. His six categories for reproductive failure include chromosomal abnormalities, abnormal uterine or cervical anatomy, hormonal imbalances, infection and illness, environmental factors & immune system problems. He goes very in depth on how all of these reasons may effect our outcomes.

Stay tuned...I'll post more as I get farther along. Please note this is not meant to "hurt" or confuse those who are going through fertility issues...I just want to pass along some info as I read it.