Tested tonight...

I couldn't even wait till tomorrow. I was like OMIGOD what if I made a fool outta myself and its an evap line...I don't think it is...cuz its still there......And the waiting begins.

"For a Successful Pregnancy

Powerful is your intercession with God, Mary, for you are his mother. Tender , too, is your love for us, for you are our mother. Confidently , then, I come to you as a child, poor and needy, to seek your aid and protection. In every trial of motherhood, I beg your aid. For the grace of a happy delivery, I come to you. For your holy assistance in guarding and directing each tiny soul with which God entrusts me, I call to you. In every sorrow that comes to me in my motherhood, I confide in you.

That I may have strength to bear cheerfully all the pains and hardships of motherhood, I lean on you. That the sweetness of motherhood may not through my neglect be embittered in later years by pains of regret, I trust in you.
That the will of God may always be fulfilled in me through each act of my motherhood, little and great, I beg your aid. Never forsake me dear Mother, my hope, my consolation, my confidence, and my trust, but ever be at my side to aid and protect me, your needy child. Amen.
Mother of Love, of Sorrow, and of Mercy, Pray for us!"

For more prayers
click here.

Symptoms continued

1) I'm starving and I just made myself a decent dinner.

2) I had a wave of nausea this morning and was this close {pinching my fingers about an inch apart from each other} to running to the bathroom.

3) I'm tired and its 5:45. I'm ready for a nap.

4) My BB's are ready to get outta this stinkin bra and be FREE!

5) I'm in a funk. Mike can confirm that my mood is....crappy.

6) I'm bloated...from the time I eat lunch to the time I get to bed my lil stomach pouch is sticking out.

7) I might have POAS today and it may have looked like this:



Maybe evap line...not really sure...its super faint but these tests are white when negative, no mistaking if its a BFN thats for sure. I'm not getting my hopes up. Went for betas this tonight...we'll see what they are. I'm only on CD 28 and ovulated some where in the beginning of last week. I hope this isn't the start of another CP. Do you see it or am I just crazy??

Plan: Test again tomorrow on another hpt from Early Pregnancy Tests on the net.

My "symptoms"

1) Tired

2) Hungry

3) Peeing more (not too much, but waking up and having to pee like a race horse)

4) My tummy is grumbling...

5) BB's are tender but not too sore

6) Blah & irritated....but thats pretty normal...HA HA

I don't see a BFP around the corner any time soon.

Why in the 2WW....

are we obsessed with POAS & with all the symptoms? I don't get it and it is so freakin annoying. I don't feel like this is my month but yet I had to pee on a stick today for it to tell me BFN! WHY? And why in the 2WW does my body insist that I have to pee more and insist that my boobs are swollen? Am I just imagining it or what? I would like for this crap to go away!!!

So this afternoon was my bf's baby shower. She is 35 weeks and cute as a button. I assisted in planning the shower and thought I would be fine. Honestly she is one of the only people that I'm ecstatic for that is pregnant!! I cried after I left...not because I'm jealous or bitter but because I'm frustrated. I'm frustrated my body won't work. Now I'm worried for when the baby arrives. How will I feel? How will I act? It makes me want to cry now. :-( So damn frustrating. I left feeling like someone was sitting on my chest...and ready to have a panic attack. I hate that. I calmed down after I stopped at my Grandfather's grave on the way home. Some days that is what gets me through that my angels are up above with my Opa watching over us. Or at least I hope.

I really like the prayers I shared with everyone yesterday. The first one starts out almost morbid. But has a very good message and brings me great comfort to read

"Instead of the wind he hears the sound of angels singing before My throne. Instead of the beauty that passes he sees everlasting Beauty – he sees My face. He was created and lived a short time so that the image of his parents imprinted on his face may stand before Me as their personal intercessor. He knows secrets of heaven unknown to men on earth. He laughs with a special joy that only the innocent possess. My ways are not the ways of man. I create for My Kingdom and each creature fills a place in that Kingdom that could not be filled by another. He was created for My joy and his parents’ merits. He has never seen pain or sin. He has never felt hunger or pain. I breathed a soul into a seed, made it grow and called it forth".

Moving on....let me tell you that I have be offered and accepted a new position at a new clinic. As many of you know I have been unhappy for awhile. My new position is as a PTA still but I will be transferring to a private practice out patient physical therapy clinic. I have been given the opportunity to start a program that will allow me to rehab dancers. I work ZERO weekends ZERO holidays. My benefits are completely paid for except dental & vision. Did I mention I will be also getting a $3500 raise? When you figure benefits into it thats $5500!!

Anyways....I'm happy but sad to be leaving some great people. I will miss a lot of co-workers but I feel its time to move on...I don't need this added stress in my life!!! I just pray I'm making the right decision and will like my job just as much if not better. I'm very nervous that my boss will flip when I hand him my resignation letter tomorrow. I don't think he has a clue and is going to take this very personally...which maybe he should....but he has to understand I'm doing whats best for my family and I at this point in time.

I have tried to make this decision based purely on pro's and con's and not include the "personal drama" at work in my decision. Hopefully my intuition was right.

STUPID NEST

So I remain in the 2 week wait (2 WW) and the stupid nest is not working. If I'm signed in I cannot access any message boards. It forwards me back to the home page. GRRR! Of course when I have time to catch up this is what happens. Oh well....I guess I'm off to Borders to look for Angelina Ballerina books for my creative movement class (ages 3-5).

Ok well not just yet. I need to vent about the 2WW. Of course I'm analyzing every damn symptom that shows up but here goes...I already mentioned I'm tired as hell, mainly come 8:00 at night. I was craving pizza yesterday so went out with a co-worker, got my usual came back to work and was sick shortly after...no not puking but..yeah that way. (I'll just leave it at that, I'm sure you get the hint.) I've been trying to drink more water and therefore I wake up in the morning with a really bad urge to run to the bathroom, my bladder seems to fill up quickly the past few days. Yesterday and today after breakfast for about 5 minutes I felt like I was going to puke but didn't. And last night I had really sensitive nipples, bb's feel very full as well.

So is it all in my head or am I really pregnant? I don't know but this is what the 2WW is all about and it sucks! :-P