Meet our lil man!

On June 6th, at exactly midnight I woke up with horrible upset stomach & nausea. After sitting in the bathroom for about 10 minutes I climbed into bed and just sat there, I noticed contractions were coming every 3 minutes. They were lasting 30 secs to 1 minute and were defintely not my usual BH contractions.

At about 12:30, I had had almost 8 contractions and told Mike we need to call the Dr. Mike was all laid back and was like why don't you try laying down and resting some. He didn't think this was the real thing what so ever, thought I possibly had food poisioning. 5 minutes later I looked at him and said "No we need to call the Dr NOW!" I took matters into my own hands and called the OB, through contractions, who of course told me to go to L&D. Mike was gonna have me take a shower and get one himself but by this time contractions were pretty intense that I couldn't walk through them and I had to breath through them.

So we quickly piled into the car and drove 5 minutes to the hospital. At this point I was grabbing his hand during every contraction and breathing through them as best as I could. We arrived at the hospital around 1:15 and they got us hooked up and sure enough it was the real thing (DUH HONEY!). I was already 4 cm. The nurse starts telling Mike that usually first time Mommy's progress 1 cm an hour and blah blah blah. Well around 2ish (I think) I became very uncomfortable, I was squeezing Mike's hand so hard that twice he said to me "Jess, I need my hands, please don't squeeze so hard" and at that point I asked for my epidural. They already had fluids pouring into me and my OB asked the nurse to check me again. I was 6 cm and my membranes were bulging so much she said I may be dilated more but she couldn't tell. So much for 1 cm an hour.

The anesthelogist was excellent. I barely felt anything. I felt the initial pinch, a little burn and cold when he started the meds. Almost immediately my left side went numb. My right side took a little longer but 2 contractions later all I felt was a menstrual cramp on my right lower side. It was amazing the instant relief. I was finally able to be myself and joke around with Mike, my parents, and my nurse. I have to say I had the best nurse ever who walked me through everything!!!

Around 3:30 Dr. Hank came in again to break my water and announced that I was fully dilated!! Mike and I were like "WHAT!?" I asked to labor down for a little bit since I was comfortable and tried to take a nap. Around 4:50 we started pushing. The first hour of pushing was a piece of cake. The 2nd hour was way more intense and I never imagined feeling all that pressure down there. Ouchy!

Mike and my mom held my legs and the nurse coached me through every contraction, taking a deep breath in and pushing for 10 secs, 3-4 times through every contraction. By the 2nd hour I could feel them coming on because it felt like someone was grabbing my right ass check and squeezing so hard, sometimes it felt like sciatica during my later weeks of pregnancy.

I remember at one point them suggesting a vaccum but I said no unless I really needed it. Right before my last push I said something to the effect of "ok I can't take much more I may need some help" meaning the vaccum. My last push was crazy. I think I pushed for a minute straight with 1 or 2 breaths. I could feel Landon's head coming out and as it did I stopped pushing I was so tired and everyone was like "NO NO NO KEEP PUSHING!" So I did one more time and the rest of him came out along with a nice big gush. It was such a relief! He cried and cried and they put him on my chest. However, I felt so sick from pushing that hard that I really didn't want much to do with him so they wisked him off to check him out.

My mom went with Landon while Mike stayed with me. (What a great hubby I have!) He watched the entire thing even though he said he didn't want to watch the head come out. haha So the first thing I asked was "I tore, didn't I?" and Dr. Hank and Mike had this expression on their faces that I knew I tore pretty good. Mike told me that his head came out and I had about 1 cm of a tear and when his shoulders popped out I just ripped open. I have a partial 3rd degree tear.

I would totally do this all over again for my little man! He is so precious and I love him so so much! So no more delaying...meet Landon Michael.

June 5th.......

Ok so its June 4th today, I'm due tomorrow and I'm 2 cm dilated and cervix is still sitting posteriorly. Wonderful! So no such luck of delivering on or before my due date. BOOO!!! We're are scheduled for induction on June 10th. We'll start with a dose of prostaglandin gel around 11 AM to ripen my cervix. At 4 PM or so I will return back to check progress and be given another does if necessary. If this does not put me into labor, around 8 AM on the 11th, I will be induced by pitocin. Hopefully we don't have to go that route though. So in about a weeks time I will officially be a mommy holding her newborn son. YAY! I'm still scared shitless at this point but...I'm also ready to get this over with.

Mucous Plug

Anyone wanna see??? Totally just kidding but this may be TMI for some, so if you don't want to know about the mucous plug---don't read any farther. Why am I writing this? Because I had no idea what to expect and this blog I hope helps others learn something or other of what to expect during & after a miscarriage, TTC journey, pregnancy and the choices you face along the way.

I actually decided at work (in the bathroom) that I should do some jumping jacks so I did. About a half hour later I was walking around and it kinda felt like when you have AF and your passing a blood clot and hurry to the bathroom to make sure you don't have any leakage. So I hurry to the bathroom and there was already a brown discharge on my panty liner and next thing I hear is "plop" and I look into the toilet and it looked like gooey snot, clear mixed with brown. It wasn't as disgusting as some people make it sound or like some of the pics on google.

So, cheers to losing my mucous plug. :::Peering around::: labor are you close by???

Having my membranes stripped = BIG TIME OUCH!

So I'm just about 39 weeks so I figured while I had the time I would post this quickly.From Family Planning "You've reach the final weeks in your pregnancy (if you haven't delivered already!) Your baby has probably reached her birth weight by this week in your pregnancy. Most babies weigh somewhere between 6-8 pounds when they are born. Boys are usually longer and heavier than girls.

Not much has changed from last week, all his internal organs are ready to support him in the outside world, he's developed healthy amounts of baby fat over the past week, his immune system is developing and will continue to develop after he is born. "

From the bump, "Baby's brain is still developing rapidly, and his skin has taken on a paler shade thanks to a thicker layer of fat around the blood vessels. (Don't worry; he'll change color again soon after birth.) He's now able to flex his limbs, and his nails might extend past his fingertips."

Well I'm up to 173 lbs. I was about 130 before pregnancy. :::sigh::: I can only hope it drops off quickly. I don't feel like or feel that I look like I gained that much. At yesterday's appt with my mid-wife she did an internal and told me I'm a little over 1 cm dilated and my membranes are bulging (SO JUST BREAK DAMMIT!). She also tried to stir things up and stripped my membranes. I just about landed off the table. It was ridiculously painful and she said "this is only a taste of what labor is like, I guess its happy epi for you!" I think she's right. OMIGOD! Plus I'm so fearful of the unknown and I don't think I was expecting it to feel like she had her whole hand in there trying to rip things out. I'm a little bummed that my pain tolerance is not that great and that I will be most likely getting an epidural.

After I came home last night I started having contractions that were about 5 minutes apart lasting for about 30 seconds. I decided that I was exhausted and needed some sleep if this was real so I went to bed at 9 and didn't get up till 8:30 this morning. The dogs were extra lovey as well. I called off of work because I was pretty crampy and felt like shit! In all honesty I didn't want to be at work feeling like that. I wasn't having contractions but I have been since 1:00ish so after this I'm going to go walk and see if they pick up any. They are just uncomfortable and I'm starting to feel some discomfort in my back as well. :::Crossing my fingers & toes:::

I'm terrified that after I give birth, I'm not going to feel like this is my baby. Like all of a sudden I'm terrified that I'm responsible for this little one. Its ridiculous! This is what I've wanted and dreamed for for so long. I'm not sure where the feelings are coming from if its just added hormones or what.

So there's the big update. I hope I don't have to give too many more before Baby Landon arrives. :::BIG HUGS::: to everyone who's followed us along this journey! :::BIG HUGS::: to my girls on the nest & the bump who have been so supportive throughout this difficult journey of TTC & pregnancy.

Still counting...12 days

The bump says "The last bits of vernix caseosa (the white goo keeping baby's skin moist) and lanugo (downy hair) are slowly shedding into your amniotic fluid. Baby's head is about the same circumference as her abdomen, and her head could be covered in an inch or so of hair."

Family Planning says "You've reach the final weeks in your pregnancy (if you haven't delivered already!) Your baby has probably reached her birth weight by this week in your pregnancy. Most babies weigh somewhere between 6-8 pounds when they are born. Boys are usually longer and heavier than girls.

All her internal organs are ready to support her in the outside world, she's developed healthy amounts of baby fat over the past week and her immune system is developing and will continue to develop after she is born. Her fingernails and toenails have reached the end of her fingers and toes and might even need a trim after she is born!"

Ok any day now....I'm so ready to meet this little boy. Not really ready to go through labor. If I don't think about it I'm ok but as soon as I start thinking about it I think of all the possibilites and what could go wrong.

This week, besides my typical back, hip, pubic bone, and down there pains...I have sciatica in my right butt cheek. Also my ankles and hands are starting to swell but the nurse wasn't concerned since I have no sugar or is it protien in my urine. She says "just keep pushin the water". UGH! For someone who never really liked water I've been pushing it. So I usually switch between that and milk because I LOVE milk.

Saw my OB this week. He did an internal..really no progress..1 cm dilated and a "soft" cervix. Head is still engaged, so he suspects I'll go before my due date. I'm not holding my breath because his head has been engaged for a while now. He also thinks he'll be approximately 7 lbs 10 oz. We'll see just how close he is. He jokingly said "I'm usually about 4 lbs off". I told him if he's a 10+ baby he isn't coming out down there, he'll be cutting him out. I told him I was ready to beg him for anything he could do to help this process because I'm just so damn uncomfortable. I swear men don't understand this process at all. He just smiled and said see ya next week. I left in tears I was so frustrated! I should add that this day last year, I had my D&E for a b.o.

So I see my mid-wife on Wed and I can't wait! I'm hoping she'll be more helpful!! Other than those things I can't think of anything else.

Full Term....

Let's get the show on the road!




The bump has this to say "At week 37, your pregnancy is considered full term, meaning baby is likely to thrive after birth. Baby spends these last weeks in preparation for the outside world… meaning careful refinement of the blink, suck, inhale and exhale. Meconium, which you’ll probably find in the first diaper, is accumulating in the intestines. If (okay, as) you worry about giving birth, consider what it’s like for the little one. During the journey out of your womb, baby will produce more stress hormones than any other time in life."


Family Planning has this to say about week 37, "Congratulations! Your baby is now considered full term. Most babies weigh 7 pounds by week 37 and measure around 20 inches. Remember, by this point in a pregnancy there tends to be variability between babies, some weighing more than others. Boys, for example, are typically heavier and longer than girls.

If your baby were to be born this week, all of his internal organs would be developed enough to function outside of your body. Also, from week 37 on, your baby will only be adding a few ounces of fat to his frame each week."

Well since I'm full term...I've decided I'm ready for this baby to be born. I dunno if I'm mentally prepared for labor, sometimes I think I'm in denial and other times I'm like "oh shit, I really do have to push this baby out, don't I?" Its scary but I try to remind myself that millions upon millions of women have done what I need to do.

Sunday, Mike bought me flowers and a card from Landon & the dogs for Mother's Day. He also promised he would get me my diaper bag. We'll see about that one. :-) My mom also sent me this really sweet card that surprisingly didn't have me in tears, it was that sweet.

Tuesday, Mike and I celebrated our 2nd Anniversary. We went out to lunch at Dockside and sat out on the deck. It was a beautiful day!!

Wednesday, I had my OB appt and saw my awesome mid-wife. My GBS is negative which is great! I also learned that baby is facing posterior which is causing all my tail bone & sacrum pain that started in the past week. If baby Landon does not flip this may mean more "complications" (we'll call it), for Mommy during labor and birth. Which is just what I need to add to all my anxiety and fear. Incase you don't know what a posterior baby is...it means he will be born face up rather than face down. You can read all about it at Babycenter.com

I've also noticed in the past week I've been overly emotional! I'm also getting up every 1-2 hours to pee every night. So overall, I'm pretty miserable. Just stating the facts and not trying to complain (too much). So I think thats pretty much what's been going on. Other than trying to prepare the house for the arrival of our son.

Hope everyone is doing well!!

36 week excitement....

"Your baby continues to grow and develop inside of you, measuring over 17 inches long, and weighing about 6lbs! During week 36, your baby's most important job is to keep putting on weight. Actually, that's his primary job from now until delivery.

You probably have another 4 weeks to go until delivery, especially if this is your first pregnancy but "Full Term" refers to the period between 37-41 weeks, so your baby could be coming any time now! Your due date is probably a good guideline to determine when your little one is coming. Even though few women deliver on their actual due date, many women deliver in the days just before or after."

Another 4 weeks....UGH! I'm so uncomfortable at this point its not even funny. Sleeping isn't bad (finding a piece of wood to knock on) but sitting & standing kills me. My back (sacrum/tail bone region) and pubic bone continue to hurt, some days worse than others and I have this horrible waddle to compensate. I'm just ready! However, the whole labor and birthing process has me completely anxious and fearful this week. After baby classes I was like "I can do this" and now that thought has gone right out the window.

So Thursday, I saw my mid-wife. Mike wasn't able to go so instead my mom went with me. We listened for the HB which was in the 150's. He hates the doppler, he tries to squirm away from it and a lot of time all you hear is him moving. I measured 34 1/2 weeks, well WNL, since I was 35 1/2 weeks. We tested for GBS and I had my first internal....I'm a fingertip dilated. Hey, every fingertip counts in this process, right? Also head is down and engaged. Let me tell you how uncomfortable the internal was, I about jumped off the damn table.

I also had a lot of questions which were answered. My mid-wife recommended two herbal supplements beginning this week. 5-W and Prem-rose oil. I believe these are to soften the cervix, I can't remember exactly what she said about them individually, but at this point, I'm gonna give it a try. OH! Also lots of nipple stimulation and sex at this point. But thats a whole other story. I find that sex just hurts and DH has been disappointed in the whole intimacy department lately....So thats all I'm gonna say.

After the appt I started to spot, which didn't surprise me too much. But after that for the next day in a half I started spotting mucusy brown stuff. I'm wondering if my mucus plug is starting to deteriorate. Which would be nice!

So after having a good appt Wed. Thursday night I started with BH contractions 5-6 minutes apart at work. After an hour and a half (sitting) I decided it was time to go home and see what they would do if I laid down. It wasn't until another hour and a half at home that they finally stopped. So Friday morning I called after they started again...this time inconsistent and now having severe tail bone pain. They told me of course to come in and get checked. I was hooked up to the monitor. Baby was moving all over the place and of course it showed no contractions. I might have had one BH contraction while being hooked up but I was so pissed. Because they start when I'm up on my feet, moving around but slow when I'm laying down. So frustrating.

So after that I decided to go to Mike's office and get adjusted. I just started crying at his office due to frustration and pain. I decided it was better to stay home and relax after the past 24 hours. I felt like a big baby but just need some "me time" to clear my head. I came home and read some of Breaking Dawn and watched Twilight to make me feel better. :-P

I forgot to mentioned that I finally dropped between Wed and Friday. Everyone at work was telling me how much lower I looked. Thank goodness. I'll take everything I can get right now. Finally my boobs no longer rest on my tummy.